Day Off Tomorrow, Sigh of Relief

Our vigorous academic week has come to a close this evening. We had a slide test at 8:30 (yes, Ryan, to answer your post question, it does seem that we have slide tests every day! Haha!) I feel like I did decent, but I am always stumped by pottery. I do not usually pay particular attention to pots and pans, but apparently I am going to have to change my ways. I wonder if, years from now, students will be looking at a screen naming off Pampered Chef equipment. "This, class, is a Pampered Chef 2000 nut grinder. It was used for chopping up walnuts, pecans and other types of nuts. It could also be used for celery and other vegetables as great salad toppers." May they be granted better luck and a ready recollection.

I was very excited that we were going to watch a movie tonight to unwind, but once again the
boys have triumphed. I walked in and sat for a moment, but soon lost interest. I don't know what it was called, but it had "boy pick" written all over it. I believe on our next trip we are going to see some of the places where 'their' movies took place. The Battle of Thermopoli (spelling) which was the story of "300". There is supposed to be a statue dedicated to the head king-- I forget his name, but he is played by Gerard Butler-- and that is all one needs to know. His face and physique were the only thing that kept me in the livingroom amidst the chopping off of heads and bloody battle scenes. Even though I'm not a huge fan of those kind of movies, it will be neat to be where they took place. I respect their stories and their lives-- I just can't quite stomach the reality of what they faced. I love Spartan women though-- man, they were feisty. I would definately have been a Spartaness (I may have just made up that word..) In one scene, the king's wife says that she has a right to speak out because she is a "Spartan woman and they are the only ones who give birth to real men." Wow. You go, girl!

I think tonight some of us girls are going to stay up late, maybe watch a chic flick and dye Lacey's hair. Though a part of me always wants to be bold and highlight my hair or something, I always chicken out. I feel boring sometimes and want to do something to prove to myself that I'm not, but I always retreat back. But anyway--I am looking forward to spending time with them tonight and then sleeping in in the morning. I have been so blessed by the girls here. Though we have been together 24/7 for almost a month, there has been no drama or hurt feelings. They ask how you are doing and they genuinely mean it. They have been a big part of me getting better.

Speaking of that, thanks for your prayers. I am pretty much back to the old Ashton! I felt like I wasn't getting to be the person I wanted to be and that I wasn't being as great an influence as I wanted, but now I feel like I'm able to do that. I smile, I laugh-- and I have noticed how much greater my relationships have become because of it. I learned that I can't do things on my own and that I need to rely on God more. In our devo Wednesday night, Danielle talked about relying on God and it just hit me that I haven't been. At the end of the day, I feel like everything is ultimately up to me. When all this happened, I realized that it's not up to me anymore-- that there are times that I have to give up all of me so that there is room for God. I, for the first time, actually cried out to God. Embarrassing as it is, I literally let myself look like a fool and shouted, "Help me God! Heal me! I need you!" Being in the shower with the water running, I was hoping that Lacey didn't hear me and think I was dying. Haha. It was after that lowest point that I finally got the chance to go to the doctor and everything slowly seemed to resolve itself. Wow. I needed that. It was faith-building.

I got incredibly personal in this entry, but I feel like being far away from you, I need to keep my spirit alive back at home. :-) And as much as this is a rundown of where I'm going and where I've been, it is also documenting a spiritual and personal growth.

I love all of you back home and I enjoy hearing from you, via comments, e-mails-- it doesn't matter. And Mr. Fred-- it was so good to get your comment! I'm glad you are reading!